Forget Me

Loving you was the best feeling I've ever felt -Andrea

I'm Coco, and she's Vinta. We were sitting under the reddish sky with clouds blanketed it. We had been dating for months and this day was the most tragic date for our relationship, the day that every relationships would face.

"What?" Vinta widen her eyes in the shocked, she just heard the sickest sentence from her boy that maybe can't no longer hold her hand.

I closed my eyes and whispered hardly, "yes, sorry and thanks."

"For.. for what?" That girl with short hair bitten her trembling lips.

"For you, Alvinta Hendria Maharani. For everything. You're my everything. Ugh.. bye." I nodded and walked away, leaving Vinta that was still confused about everything.

I was one of tons in the world that diagnosedwith cancer in their body. Maybe when we still be a single forever, the only thing that we thought about was just our dreams that will never came true. but when we had someone that fills our heart, they would be everything we thought about. And that's also occurred in me, cause I have the one that I really love. Her name is Vinta, Alvinta Hendria Maharani. Thought we didn't always get along, but her sweet and innocent way of talking can always flipped my frown to smile, or even a big laugh.

But now, because of this disease I have to make a big wound inside her heart, and it makes me really sad. I know I couldn't see her laughing and her smiling with me, even just her gorgeous face. But I also know that it's was best way. If I forced to stay with her, it would just make Vinta sad and lose her smile. So, it's not because I didn't love her anymore. I do, I do really love her. But the truth is, my life was too short.

"Coco! Coco!" I open my eyes slowly, all things around were losing it's color. Then I could saw Vinta's face, her super anxious face.

I squinted my eyes and smiling. "Hey hun, ups.. I mean, Vinta. Where am I?"

"I felt really scared and you're just smiling? I was thinking that I will lose you now!" Tears flowing from big and beautiful eyes, I could see sadness and fear on her face.

I patted her hand to make her calmed down and asked, "sorry about that. But where am I now?"

"You fainted as you left me in the field..." she whispered with some sobbed in her voice.

"Vinta, could you do me a favor?" I started to her eyes and continued as I she nodded at me. "Please leave me and find your own life from now. Cancer will kill me soon, and I can't no longer accompany you. I don't like to see you crying. Thought goodbye always hurt, but maybe this goodbye could released it's good thing when you can forget me and find someone that's much better, stronger, and healthier than me."

"I won't! I will accompany you until the end of your life. I promise, I won't cry. I can't stop thinking about you. Please understand me." She clasped her hand into a tight fist full of hope and dreams that I ever promised to her when we grew up and stay together, but now it vanished.

"Can't stop thinking about me? How could you said that when you don't even try? I know you can find someone better, you're too perfect for me." I glanced to the ceiling while waiting for her answer.

"I'll go if that what you want. But sorry, I won't forget you for maybe forever." Vinta move her legs and went away.

"Sorry.." my heart whispered in the silence. "Sorry Vinta."

I closed my diary book after giving a date at the top right. "Jakarta, 27th September 2011." I mumbled while writing. 

"Shoot, I forgot!" I opened my book to the last page and tore it. I'm about to make a last letter to her.

Vinta, you have to know that you are my best girl ever. You're different from the girls I have ever met. You're completely innocent, pretty, sweet, and always made me laugh. I love you, because of that I won't make you sad and cry just because of losing me. I don't want you to feel pain and hurt. My life is too short to own you. I can't be the best cause this disease will kill me. I also doesn't want you to feel like Retno that was left by my brother.

My love to you is bigger than I love myself. I won't make you sad when I died later, I don't want to make you cry! Yea, saying goodbye would make you hurt. But you'll be better without me, don't think about me again. Sometimes I asked to God, why I must met you if at last we also have to say goodbye. Also why cancer have to came when I felt that my life getting better.

I just wanna say thanks to my Alvinta Hendria Maharani, you already gave me a true life. When I die, I know I'll feel peace. Life was too hard for me. I wanted to see you in happy from heaven. And the last, a question from me. "When you can live forever, what do you live for?"

Coco.

I put the letter to a white envelope and closed it tightly. I'll send it to Vinta's house right before my flight to Australia at 2pm today. 

It's 3pm and I was about to boarding when I heard my phone rings. "Vinta." Said my phone screen.

"Hello?" I greet in doubt.

"Thanks for the letter Coco. Maybe you're true that I have to forget you someday, but not for now. I still love you." Her sweet voice flown perfectly through my ears, she's successes in making me cried.

"Ok, but you surely have to. Bye, gotta go." I click the red button on my phone and walked down to the plane while plugging my earphone.

Tonight is the night that I will fall for you, over again... Honestly, I'll be in love with over and over again. Or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true... Cause I still love her no matter what.

Because a girl like you was impossible to find, you're impossible to find... And you're totally different from the other girls, you're the only one I want.

She's know I'm in love with her, she know I will be leaving her to the heaven soon, and she know I would make pain in her heart hurts even more. So now I leave is the thing that she doesn't know. I'll vanished from her life and she will be forgetting me.

I started to the sky, clouds there formed a name that had received the special place in my heart. 'Vinta' complete with a face of her. "Bye". I said, the last goodbye before I left Indonesia and our memories.

People said, goodbye means forgetting. And I know what's the point now, because what I want was just her to forget everything about me and our memories.

Coco w/ his lil sister Cla